if this isn’t blog-worthy, I don’t know what is
March 22nd, 2008 @ 8:30 pm | Comments
Filed Under: life, she's a weird one
In eighth grade, one of our projects in Language Arts class (a fancy name for ‘Spelling/Reading/Writing class’) was to write a book. We were each given a blank hardback book, about 12 sheets of paper or so inside of it, and the freedom to write our own short story, complete with illustrations and everything.
My mom had mine all these years, and this weekend while searching the bookshelf for something for Maggie, she came across it and oh my, did we have a laugh.
I bring you, my near-Pulitzer Prize winning short-story, Jamie’s Little Problem.
First, just… wow. I was SO good at drawing. Wow. That bike is like, ROCKIN’.
This is the inside cover. I find it funny that apparently I just gave away my copyright to the school. heh. Also: remember 1992? I bet you a slap bracelet that I had pegged jeans on while I wrote this.
Now this is actually a serious page: the dedication page. I had completely forgotten about writing this. My best friend that year (and a great friend in later years as well) was a girl named Erin. Erin died in a car accident when we were sophomores in college. Our families knew each other for years, and my sister is now married to her brother. So, very bittersweet.
Okay, time for more jokes.
Jamie has on really big shoulder pads.
ooh, this story is going to be good, I can tell.
Looks like Jamie is pretty much screwed now.
I just noticed how Jamie doesn’t have fingers. Poor kid.
This is one of my favorite parts. Partly because of the great action taking place in the quality illustration I created, and partly because I can totally relate to Jamie. Sometimes when I get mad, I’ll hit or kick something and then regret it, because I’ll end up hurting myself. So, I feel your pain, Jamie. Totally.
Isn’t messing with mailboxes like a Federal offense or something? Jamie’s really in for it now. Also: check out the awesome way the silverware and plate in front of Jamie’s dad are kind of floating there. Apparently I hadn’t quite mastered perspective yet. But I draw spaghetti awesome.
Jamie falls on his ass. I’m pretty sure he would say something stronger than ‘Ouch’, but I guess I was trying to keep it clean. You know, for the kiddos.
I wonder if he has an ice pack on his bum.
Again with the floating dishes.
That Jamie is SUCH a big fat liar!
Hello, random rabbit on a hillside.
Wow, suddenly Jamie is so good at bike riding that he’s able to ride down waterfalls!
Jamie tries to play it cool. And what happened to their other friend? Bobby? or Charlie? Maybe the rabbit ate him.
Oh it must have been poor Bobby who got eaten by that darn rabbit. His parents will be so sad. And again: JAMIE LIES.
THE END.
And this is the back cover. No author photo (just picture me with glasses, big puffy bangs, and braces) but I do include a nice bio. My sister gets a nod, I talk about my raging social life, and I share my dream of being a zoologist and having a pet monkey. One out of two ain’t bad, I suppose.
More posts like this:
- why I do what I do February 4, 2008
- if I ever needed motivation, this is it. December 15, 2007
- Operation: No More Muffin-Top. August 30, 2008
- again with the nothingness June 26, 2007
- positive / negative February 26, 2008
March 22nd, 2008 @ 8:40 pm
Don’t you have two pet monkies?
I remember doing this in 7th grade. I too had big hair.
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March 22nd, 2008 @ 8:42 pm
Okay, I had to laugh so hard at this. Your book is so much better than mine is, I still have it and it is awful. I was really into peace and love that year and so mine was about flower people helping homeless flower people.
I call Lincoln my little monkey all the time!
March 22nd, 2008 @ 8:59 pm
@Corrie and @Priscilla: Okay, so now you guys have to go find yours and take pictures and post them on Flickr too :)
March 22nd, 2008 @ 9:05 pm
That is so cute! You were a much better illustrator than I ever was!
PS- Your pet monkey is adorable!!!
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March 23rd, 2008 @ 9:50 am
Aw…I did that, too, in 3rd or 4th grade, but two people in class got their’s chosen to be kept by that teacher to use as an example, etc. The two of us even got to go read it to the kindergarten classes. So…I don’t have mine anymore. Nor do I remember what it was even about. Darn ti!
March 23rd, 2008 @ 11:41 am
That is all sorts of awesome. I wish I had some of that kind of stuff to make fun of myself1
March 23rd, 2008 @ 7:51 pm
heehee… this was sooo awesome. Are you sure you’re happy doing web design? Because I would totally buy your next novel. I don’t think I’d even be able to wait until it was in paperback. :)
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March 23rd, 2008 @ 8:11 pm
@Mel: heeehee, I was actually one of two people who got to go read it at some teachers’ conference thing one day. It was way cool- we got to go out to lunch with our teacher and ride in her car, which when you’re 13 and a huge nerd, is like AWESOME. heehee
March 23rd, 2008 @ 8:12 pm
@Melissa: hehe well it’s nice to know I have one fan in a possible future career if the web thing fizzles out ;)
March 23rd, 2008 @ 9:33 pm
This book makes me sad. Why didn’t Jamie’s lame ass parents help him learn how to ride his bike?
March 23rd, 2008 @ 9:35 pm
@Michelle: hahahaha! Good point. Sorry to make you sad, Sissy.
March 23rd, 2008 @ 10:52 pm
Awww the old days, I remember my book and I hope it is lost!! It was so dumb and the story went no where!!!
I remember when Erin died that was very very sad, she was such a sweet kind hearted person….. :(
March 24th, 2008 @ 8:38 am
You don’t have to prove to use what a loser you are, we believe you…
March 24th, 2008 @ 11:35 am
Wow; you actually drew much better than I do NOW :) ….and wow, how bittersweet about your best friend, Erin. I’d keep that book forever.
March 24th, 2008 @ 3:21 pm
OMG - that was WONDERFUL! I’m a teacher and some of my (ok - MANY of my) high schoolers don’t write that well! Nice illustrations, too! :) I thoroughly enjoyed the book AND the comments. Perhaps you should publish the two together! :)
March 24th, 2008 @ 4:48 pm
Love it! You were probably ahead of your time.
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March 25th, 2008 @ 12:45 am
It’s so weird that you made a book like that. They must have been selling them to all the schools in the greater Pittsburgh area, because I lived around Pittsburgh in 1992, and I had to do that same project with what looks like the same book, except it was a joint effort between me (a first grader) and a sixth grader.
Our masterpiece was based on the true story of my cat, Sparkles, who got sick. It, oddly enough, also included a great deal of bike riding.
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